I was so pale I could get mistaken for paper, but despite that, I always thought every summer was the summer I was going to get that elusive tan. I went after it like 'squach hunters go after Sasquatch...only with less feces in the woods. I was determined every summer was the one!
Tans were so important that I dreaded going to school during summer and shorts season more than any other season of the year. Even though we had summer breaks, you still had a little overlap where you had no choice but to wear shorts or die of heat exhaustion. Air conditioning back then wasn't what it is now. It was non-existent in buses. Then there was gym and recess...well, you get the point.
Over the years, I had my fair share of teasing and bullying, but one of the insults that sticks in my head was a boy who called me, "Albino." Now in restrospect it seems kind of tame, but for some reason it was so insulting at the time, I've never forgotten it.
Wanting a tan made me do very strange things. My mom brought over some more pictures the other day and I found this one:
As soon as I found this picture, I groaned at my past self, "Oh Dear God, why?"
I remember this picture and this day. It was at a family cookout (which is why my late uncle is letting my cousins out of our little kid prison--er, I mean our tent trailer that we opened up in the middle of our backyard...because that's how we rolled back in the day) and I wanted my face to get tanned. So instead of waiting for a time when I was alone and nobody could witness my psycho sun worshiping, I did it in front of everyone. And I can't say I did it for a short period of time. This went on for awhile! Way too long.
As you can tell by my pale, freckled (albino) face, it was pretty much a waste of time. But thanks to the magic of photography the moment has been framed forever...and ever.
Maybe I can tell people I was doing yoga... It's the sitting down warrior pose! Yes, that's it....
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