Sunday, September 1, 2013

Living on a Prayer

I'm taking off a day for the holiday, so in my place, I have a guest blogger. Here is Claudia, the praying mantis that hangs around my house and freaks me out all the time.


Hello, I am Claudia. I asked Melanie if I could do her blog and she ran away squealing. I guess that was a yes? If she was blogging tonight, she would probably be talking about dreadfully dull things like how she tried a new egg recipe this morning that was created by her friend Katie's daughter and was delicious. Kind of like that small cricket I was munching on earlier today.

She would also probably tell you that she took her dog and her son to Wendy's just to get out out the house and how she finished a book about Nancy Drew. But nobody cares about that. I'm a praying mantis. I live like two months. I don't have time to read a book!

What we do care about is this guy I met last night. Bud Mantis. He was pretty awesome. He treated me to a hearty dinner of flies. Not the ordinary cheap flies either. The kind that hover around the high end pieces of crap. Anyway, it was all going well. He knew exactly what I wanted. Hit all the right spots. Then before I could stop myself, I bit off his head. He was a talker in the sack. Ladies, you know what I mean, right? Less talkin' and more lovin' I always say.

Anyway, I have another date tonight, but the pickings are slim. Apparently I'm getting a "reputation" for tearing off my mates heads. Hey, I can't help it! Males are annoying.

Have a great Labor Day! If you see any single mantis hanging around send them my way. I really don't want to go on Single Mantis Chat pages. Just let the part about head biting be our little secret, k?

Until tomorrow...

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