It was a rainy day, which meant I didn't have to do anything. Or feel guilty for not doing anything. I did report my unemployment job searches since that's due every Sunday, but that was the only responsible thing I did! Well, I went to the Reno house and helped out a little there. I carried plywood. That was hard work! I'm really not made for manual labor. By the second board I was whimpering internally and wanted to stop. But I kept going because I show no weakness! Which is kind of strange since I've never been like that before. I usually have no trouble showing weakness! I guess when you don't work at all and finally do work, you don't want to admit you don't want to do work. Yes, that made no sense. It's my blog and I don't have to make sense!
I got on my threadmill and stayed on for 30 minutes. The only problem is that the belt is starting to fray. Obviously being over 10 years old means it's wearing down. It might be dryrotting or something. My precious! I will have to see if I can find a new belt. I NEED my treadmill. Really. I do.
I was just thinking about how I started this blog on a Sunday a long time ago. I remember my rule about showering every day, which I've pretty much stuck to. Every once in awhile I might slack off, but not often. Usually I find time to take a shower, put on some makeup and do my hair in some sort of style. The clothes might be really casual (sweats and a tee), but I'm ready to go just in case! I just have to throw on some real pants. No housecoat...yet.
It's sad that people keep talking about summer being over. I can't believe that's true. I keep thinking I want to go back to school, but I'm just not ready. It's hard to believe that at this time last year I had a job, was starting school and everything was so positive! I just don't have that confidence back yet. Once I'm there, I will do the school thing again. I just don't have the energy. Sometimes it a miracle to get up and sit here and look for jobs. I just can't think of studying on top of that.
I know one day I will get my groove back. It's not like me to wallow for long. There are people in this world facing a lot worse and I can't stay at the pity party forever! Plus, the chips are stale. And there's no cake! What's a party with no cake?
I have Smoke and JJ. I have Scooter. I have my cats. I have my books. And one day I'll find that job! I believe that.
In the meantime, I will torture you people with every thought that goes through my head! Because that's how I roll. So if you want to go to another pity party, feel free. But if there's cake, let me know! I'll be there.
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