Monday, July 25, 2011

Every Breast You Take....

One day I was reading an article on Women's Health's website and I went ahead and "liked" them so that I could get Facebook updates on all their articles. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I really want to be healthy.

I soon realized my mistake. They like to update their page once a minute. And every day it's some new exercise or diet. I actually printed out one of their workouts and tried it. I think I lost consciousness for a moment. When I came to, I read the next line that said, "Do this 10 more times." Not. That only lasted one night.

A lot of the articles are common sense. But sometimes they'll just post odd things that make you go, WTF? Like today. Their Facebook post said:

Tell us why you love your breasts! Post a picture of yourself on our Facebook wall along with a caption about why you love your breasts, and you might appear on!

Err... Post a picture of my breasts? Or just why I love them? How many reasons are there? WTF? Isn't that a bit personal? If it was to support breast cancer awareness or something, I'd be all for it, but I think it's just for the heck of it. If that wasn't bad enough, I started reading some of the posts:

I love my breast because they are what make me unique. They set me apart from most women my size because as I become healthier and fit , they suit my body. Breast large or small look excellent when fitness is a part or your daily routine.

I'm confused. Is that one breast or two? And nice plug for exercise! Kissing up is the way to go.

I love my breast because they are a free accessory that goes with every outfit!

Why is everyone using the word breast like it's plural? We are born with more than one! Well, I was. Wasn't everyone? OMG. It is just me?

Another time their posted started out with:

Totally in the mood for a nice, cool iced coffee!

Mmm... Yes! Yes, I am! Then you read the rest

Here are the ones we'll be avoiding...

Thanks for ruining it!!! WTF?

Another post:

Morning sex: love it or hate it?

Really? You think I'm going to answer this on your Facebook status? Who in their right mind would do that? Oh, wait, there were 178 comments. My bad.

Hey, I'm all for women sharing their concerns and having open discussions, but on Facebook? Really? It just seems...odd. But maybe that's me. I'm pretty open for the most part, but there's always a line I think we shouldn't cross. And that line is our iced coffees. I mean, seriously, why are you warning me about them? Can't one thing be sacred?

Maybe I should hide them and be healthy on my own! But then I miss posts like these:

I ♥ mine! They say 'hello' before I do, make me stand a little taller, remind me when 'aunt flo' is coming to town, and are FABULOUS for starting conversations!!



Connie said...

You know what? Many people are insane. Nine times out of 10 when I read the comments on a news article or commercial FB post, I'm annoyed and promise never to read them again. I can't tell you the number of FB pages that I've liked and had to either unlike or hide from my feed because they're electronically polluting my feed.

P.S. My word verification is tardier. Used in a sentence, She was tardier to class than I was, give her detention. (See how I revert back to junior high?)

Melly said...

LOL I like the people who think they are really talking to celebrities when they comment on a post that was obviously put up by a promoter or someone similar. Those are my favorite!