One morning I got up really early and started surfing vintage Christmas decorations on Ebay. It was one of those days when I needed cheering up and I thought finding a memento from my childhood online might do it. Plus some of the vintage decorations you find are just ridiculous. They have absolutely nothing to do with Christmas--or any holiday thought up by humans for that matter--and just make you say, WTF?
That's what happened to me. I was scrolling down the listings when something caught my eye... It was a caterpillar, but it wasn't any caterpillar known to man. It had a blonde face with a big ass smile painted on and was doing Jazz hands like it didn't notice it had no lower body. Who thought this up? Someone had to design it and then have it made. Who knows... Maybe there are more out there! But I doubt it. I'm pretty sure Goldie is one off a kind.
I had to have it.
The Ebay auction described her as a: Vintage Decorative Collectible Christmas Caterpillar Ornament.
Offered is a vintage caterpillar ornament. It is 3 3/4" in height and 3 1/2" in width. It is missing the ornament hoop and has some small spots of paint loss on the head. Thank you very much for looking!
If you describe something as an ornament and it doesn't have its hoop, I'm pretty sure it's not an ornament. There's not even a place to add a hoop if you wanted to! Unless you gave her a noose. She does have some bald spots, but I think the ribbon in her Pebble Flintstone's hairdo makes up for that.
I quickly bid on it. I was one of only three people who bid. I can't believe only three people bid on this masterpiece! She would be mine!
Of course I won because I'm awesome (and might've paid too much for a defective ornament that isn't even an ornament). I paid immediately and then waited impatiently for it to arrived. I even texted my Ebay addicted friend Suz telling her I had won a major award but wouldn't tell her what it was. I wasn't even really sure.
It came in a padded envelope that was marked, "Fragile," which meant it was Italian of course. It was also wrapped up very well. I'm talking bullet proof.
Here it is with Scooter photo bombing as usual. I'm pretty sure he thought it was some well wrapped food, which is why he's licking his lips.
The caterpillar ornament came in a cocoon! For being Fra-gi-le, this thing was indestructible! I had to grab a pair of scissors and just start stabbing through all the bubble wrap hoping I didn't puncture poor Goldie's plastic heart.
Once I got through the first wall, there were two smaller packages. One contained Goldie:
I'm almost positive Goldie wrote that herself.
She also came with accessories:
They are two painted glass candies. These weren't even included in the auction. It's like her mother sent her off into the world with candy for the ride. They were wrapped in their own bubble wrapped cocoon. I hope the seller didn't think I needed more incentive to keep Goldie because she sold herself with all her awesomeness!
I had so many plans for Goldie. She was going to be my own Elf on a Shelf! I was going to move her every day, but other than the three blog posts I did get up, I didn't do much else. Like tie her to a fishing pole and make it look like she was bait. Sadly holiday plans got in the way and I was only able to focus one thing at a time and that was my movie countdown. But that didn't mean I forgot about Goldie. She came with me to Trader Joe's when I met my aunt and she went with me to my friend Katie's house. She brought me chocolate once:
She cheered up this chick when she needed some cheering. How can anyone be sad when this caterpillar with no legs is so optimistic?
I know you probably thought I went around the bend when a Christmas decoration started talking to me, but thank you for not saying anything. Or have me committed. Goldie is magic and Christmas and bedazzled goodness.
She is quite simply fabulous!
(She also has a little hole on the bottom... Is that her vag? They really did make ornaments look realistic!)