Today I was watching the third season of Parenthood and minding my own business. By the way, if you binge-watch a show, don't pick Parenthood unless you want to cry like a baby all day. I was watching Lauren Graham's eyes well up in tears for the hundredth time (drink!) when I heard a voice. "Why, this is fabulous! Did you buy me a present?"
I looked over. "Uh... Yeah. No. That's just a fake present ornament. There's nothing in it."
She made a tsking sound. "You can't fool me! I know there's something fabulous in here!"
"If I say yes, will you take your present and go back to the SyFy movie special you came from?"
Goldie was too busy looking at her reflection in the package to hear me so I went back to my show. Crosby was saying something funny, and I'm pretty sure the family was about to start dancing again.
A couple hours and half a bag of pistachio's later (Don't tell Smoke...they are his!) and it was time to feed the cats. I went outside and... "For the love of God..."
"This is fabulous!" she exclaimed. "These cats love me!"
Mama Kitty looked up and asked, "Don't I share my food with enough animals? What's with the glitter bug?" I felt bad. And a bit freaked out that my cats were starting to talk to me. Unemployment really was getting to me! I was putting the crazy in crazy cat lady.
"Goldie, please come in and leave the cats alone. I have another present for you..."
She turned around. "Really? Fabulous!"
"Yes, I have a whole tree of them. They came in a package of 10 from the Dollar Store."
She inched along. "I can't wait to blog about this!"
"Great. I'll meet you about an hour when you finally get in the door."
That would give me enough time to see what Braverman family member was in trouble this time and figure out a way to seal all the cracks in the house to avoid any other magical creatures from entering. Then I was going to look for jobs because now that my cat's are talking to me... Damn. It might be time.