This morning I was pulling away from my house when a cat passed in front of my car. It was the baby mama of the kittens, who we haven't seen in weeks now. Well, she hasn't LET us see her in weeks. She stopped and looked at me and I looked at her and this is the conversation I imagined happened:
Her: "What are you looking at?"
Me: "I don't know. I guess the cat that had four babies and then LEFT THEM AT MY HOUSE." I swear she's like one of those crack moms’s who has a bunch of kids and then leaves them with her mom so she can get more crack. But I'm not really sure what the cat equivalent to crack would be. Catnip? Is there a dealer in the neighborhood?
Her: "Hey, I weaned them and taught them to hunt. What more could you want?"
Me: "Yeah, that's great. They hunt very small mice and bugs. But they don't eat them. They just wait for us to feed them."
She gives a little cat shrug. "Hey, if you keep feeding them, they will always be deadbeats."
She does have a point. And I really should be going down the road. This is a very long imaginary conversation I'm having with a cat. And other cars might eventually come a long...
People always tell me that if I stop feeding the kittens, they will go away. But how can I do that? They look at me with their spooky yellow eyes and I'm pretty sure they will find a way to kill me if I did. Plus, I'm pretty sure this is a bit of empty nest syndrome creeping up. Not that my son will be leaving the house that soon. But the point is, HE COULD. And I couldn't do a thing about it. The law isn't even be on my side anymore!
I guess if I just keep feeding him, he won't go anywhere. It's a shame it's too late to be a crack mom. This would be so much easier!