Interview with my Stapler

Did you think I was lying about interviewing my stapler? How silly!

On a scale from 1 to 10, how awesome am I? No excuses about how you hardly know me…

That's silly. I am your stapler. I do know you. You are kind of annoying and spacey. And you like to hit me really hard.

Whatever. Time for the hard hitting question. Prepare yourself… What is your favorite book?

I am a stapler. Seriously. Are you not understanding this?

Fine. An easy question then. What is your name?

Do I have a name? I believe I used to say Swingline until your grubby hands rubbed it off.

Wow, I had no idea my stapler was so hostile. And has kind of a slight French accent. Have you been to France?

Seriously. I...am...a...stapler...

Did you know I got to pick you myself? Most people just got handed staplers. But I picked you myself.

Oh no, not this story again...

Yes. When my manager handed me that Staples catalog and I went through its glossy pages, I picked you especially. Because you were purple.

Wow. That's great. Because I am purple. Seriously you should be writing this stuff down. You'd make millions! Denzel Washington would play me in the movie.

I'm not sure I like you anymore

Likewise.

Ok, interview done! It's time to staple a whole lot of papers! Maybe a whole boatload of papers. Lots of slamming!

You know I like it rough...

Yikes...

Until next week!