Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Meeting of the Minds. Or not.

Last night I was in the middle of working on an interview when I realized I hadn't done my blog for Tuesday yet. I usually blog the night before because I'm brain dead the next morning. Plus, I have to be in early for a meeting today. Blech.

Office Meetings. What are they good for? Well, let me list them out.

1. Avoiding the work you should be doing by talking about it instead.

2. Doodling. If doodling was truly an art form, I'd be a master at it! "Hmm...what is that? A house? Maybe a fish. Or a city landscape. Damn, I'm good! I should give up writing."

3. Practicing your signature. Just in case someone suddenly asks for your autograph right there in the middle of the Powerpoint presentation. You better be prepared!

4. Falling asleep with your eyes open. Oh, it can be done!

5. Critiquing your coworkers outfits. It's like Project Runway without Heidi and her accent. That blouse is FIERCE!

"Melanie, do you have anything to add to this discussion?"

"Make it work!"

6. Passing notes to your friend. I did this the other day and got in trouble. I did! Just like high school. It was awesome!

7. Pretending to be a bobble-head doll. Whenever some looks at you, you just nod. It makes you look like you're paying attention. Unless of course they are frowning. Then you put on your stern face. It shows you're thinking: "Hmm... That sounds serious." When really you're thinking: "What did I bring for lunch again? Tuna fish? Ugh. I had that the other day."

8. Cursing whatever the last song you listened to on your iPod was. It's usually something like Hooked on a Feeling, so you have "Ouga Chaka Ouga Chaka" running on an endless loop in your mind. The only thing missing is the dancing baby. (I really miss Ally McBeal).

9. Realizing the one thing you can't do during a meeting, which is figuring out that plot twist in your book. There's nothing worse than imagining an intimate scene in your book, then looking up to see one of your male coworkers scratching their head (or something else I'm not going to write here). Just ruins the mood.

10. The best thing meetings are good for? Realizing you're getting paid to do all of the above things. "Good meeting. Very productive. I'll just take that hours worth of pay right now. Time for lunch!"

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