Thursday, May 8, 2008

Party Like It's 1992

I graduated in 1992. The year that Bill Clinton won the presidential election, Kurt Cobain married Courtney Love, and a lot of other stuff I just skimmed.

The other day I found my senior yearbook. A book I don't look at too often since I have no fond memories of my senior year. I switched schools during my sophomore year and never really made a lot of friends. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a 90's version of a Emo... I had enough friends. Just not a lot.

But what is making me laugh isn't my lack of friends, although I have laughed at that many times... No, what I'm laughing at are the really insightful student quotes highlighted throughout the book.

"I didn't know why Homecoming was in the cafeteria, but they did a good job." George....

Translation: Despite the fact we had to dance in the nasty cafeteria while slipping on last weeks cheeseburger on a bun, they still did a good job with some streamers and balloons.

Summer, Surf & Sun:
"The best part of my summer was seeing all the girls at Ocean City." Matt....

Wow, that's deep. Can I quote you on that? Oh wait, someone already did. Oh and in the picture? For some reason the dude is holding a box of Wheat Thins (with low salt! Don't want bloating on the beach!). Yeah, you pick up lots of chicks with Wheat Thins.

Working On Spare Time:
"I need the money, without it I would not be able to pay for all my expenses," Caroline....

Expenses? What Expenses?? Judging by her hair in the picture, methinks her expenses went towards lots of Aqua Net. Call Al Gore! I found the cause of Global Warming!

Weekends Hanging Out:
"I was eating my Big Mac with friends and a huge food fight started. I got yelled at but I didn't even start it." Ryan...

"No, it's two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. Not peas!!! You idiot!!"

Holidays Taking a Break:
"Christmas is my favorite holiday because I like the Christmas spirit. Libby..."

No shit? Wow. Lemme guess... Valedictorian?

Oh wait! Stop the presses! We've found our winner! The award for worst typo in a yearbook goes to...

Most Embarrassing Moments:
"When I went to the D.C. Metro and rode the elevator a huge gust of wind came down: and blew my skirt in my face. The metro workers were all clapping when I finally got down!" Erin....

Yeah, I'm sure they were clapping when you "got down".

BTW, what kind of quote is that?!? Typo or not, I don't think you want all your teachers, your fellow students and PARENTS knowing that you flashed some perverted Metro workers!! What? Are you Marilyn Monroe now?

Okay, that's Melly's Thoughts for the day. Oh and just so you know, if you come to DC and are riding the escalators to the Metro, I can't guarantee the Metro workers will clap for you. But maybe if you offer them some Wheat Thins...

Edited to add: On the way to work, I realized that the last quote might not have been a typo and she meant when she got down the elevator. I was thinking she meant to say, "...when I finally got the skirt down!" Blame it on lack of sleep...blame it on my overactive dirty mind. But my second comment still stands. The quote is still so wrong. LOL

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