My Interview with Suz McErlain

Today I have a very special guest. She's Suzanne McErlain and one of my bestest friends in the whole world. She owes everything she is to me. Wait, reverse that...oh, never mind. Anyway, like my last interview, it didn't go exactly how I expected it to. I think I need to take a class or something.

Here is my interview with Suz McErlain, the uncut version:

I hear you are going to be the innkeeper at Nora Roberts’s Inn. Is it true that you got the job because you know me? Be honest.
Yes, it's true that I am going to be the innkeeper at Nora Roberts's Inn. It's called Inn Boonsboro and we hope to open around Christmas 2008.

I'll tell you that the competition for innkeeper was fierce. I pretty much had the talent and swimsuit parts wrapped up, but when it came to the interview questions portion, I got a little nervous. When asked, 'Who is the coolest, most famous person you know?' one contestant answered that her husband's brother's aunt's cousin's neighbor's sister's best friend knows The Jonas Brothers. But when I said I know author Melanie Anderson, well, I think that really tipped the odds in my favor.

No, seriously be honest.
That was honest, and don't call me seriously.

On a scale of one to ten, how awesome am I? You can go past ten if you like.

You are totally awesome! Like, to the max! Where does the max fall on a scale of one to ten? I think it's between 8 and 9.

I hear in the past you had a job where you served other people and got paid for it. Is that true?

I think you are referring to the years I spent bringing food to the hungry. Some people call it waitressing. But yes, I served--not serviced--other people and got paid for it.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

Yes, I did know that. I've know it since we were about eight years old and met on the beach in Atlantic City. I know I'm everything you would like to be. Sadly, you cannot fly higher than an eagle though. *sniff*


Is it true you receive a newsletter from a dead man?

Hmm......can a dead man send a newsletter? The postage must be astronomical. I subscribe to the Elvis Presley newsletter. It keeps me up to date with everything that's going on in his world. But he's not dead. He was just on 'American Idol' last year singing with Celine Dion. Didn't you see it?


Can I still be your juicer?
I do need someone to squeeze my oranges every morning. Are you as fast as the Acme Supreme Juicerator 5001? Perhaps we should have a contest a la John Henry and see if you can keep up.

What are you wearing?
Perv.


Now for the hard hitting question. What’s your favorite song?

Does Melanie Anderson write music? Or does she just write books?

I always hate this question because I have so many songs that I love. My favorite at the time depends on my mood. But if you're going to make me answer, I guess I'll have to go with 'Burnin' Love' by Elvis Presley. No wait, 'Rainbow Connection' by Kermit the Frog. No, no......'Goodbye to You' by Scandal. But then there's 'Proud Mary' by Tina Turner.....

Do you have anything to add? Here’s where I let people talk about anything.

Do I have anything to add? You're going to make me do math? Dude, I thought this was supposed to be a friendly interview. This must be what it feels like to be on 'The View' or 'Merv Griffin.' I can talk about anything? Really? Okay.

I guess I would just like to say thank you for this wonderful opportunity. I also want to thank God and the Academy.

I want to give a shout out to all my friends! Woot!

I can't wait to see the new Indiana Jones movie. It looks great, doesn't it?!

I'll close by saying I hope to welcome you and all of your readers to Inn Boonsboro when we open. Perhaps one day we'll add on and have a Melanie Anderson room..........