Sunday, March 21, 2010

Yes, I lied. Again.

I said I was going to start up my interviews and I really was. My intentions were good. I even talked to someone about doing an interview. But it never happened. I feel guilty for I love this blog. I had some good times on here.

I'm no longer a published author. That has dealt my self-esteem a hard blow. My last publisher was sold and the new publisher wasn't interested in my work. I know it's not my fault or their fault. It just wasn't meant to be. But it left me in a lurch. Am I still a writer if I'm not published?

Then I thought about closing this blog and shutting down my website. What was the point? But something always stopped me. Giving up this part of my life was something I couldn't-something I wouldn't do.

But I'm not writing. I'm not blogging. Ok, that's a lie. If you're my friend on Facebook, you'll see I'm started a new feature called "Melly's Saturday Night Story Snark," where I snark on books I find that are really bad. So I can never seem to give up my writing or give up on trying to make people laugh.

I'm in limbo-land and I'm not sure how to go forward. I start books that I never finish. I think I'm going to start interviewing on here and then I stop. I know it's my fault. I put too much pressure on myself. I have to do something different; something nobody has thought about before. Or that old self-esteem kicks me in the head, telling me, oh, that sucks. You can't write. Why did you ever think you could?

There are a lot of voices in my head. Not all of them friendly. Except Phil. He's cool.

Even now, I'm reading this back, thinking, "Oh God, you're not really going to post this long rambling blog are you?" And I think I will. It's time to move forward. It's time to be myself. "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!"

I'm not going to make any promises this time. It still might be another year before I post. But I just had to post today when I got a comment on one of my blog posts that made me smile. People are still reading!

Oh and don't forget, you can always find me on Facebook. I'm Melanie Anderson. Just mention that Melanie sent you. I'll know which personality it is...

13 comments:

Emeila said...

I can somewhat relate I am not a writer but an artist. There are times when I just sit and stare at the paper. Peace

dnwu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gayle said...

I'm sorry but I feel "That's what women and writers do" wander, meander, never getting to a point specific.
My problem in "bloging" is finding something to write about or is backed up by research and facts. And, I don't want to commit until I'm sure I feel I'm right. But then, that's my problem.

Mike said...

Your blog has been recommended to us as a interviewee's favorite blog!

We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for Blog
Interviewer. We'd
like to give you the opportunity to
give us some insight on the "person behind the blog."

It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
be submitted online here Submit your
interview
.

Best regards,

Mike Thomas

小生 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Drifter said...

lol. im 13 and i think ur really funny!! just keep writing and im sure ull catch a break soon :) hey..have u read 'the glamorous (double life) of isabel bookbinder'? its really good n it kinda reminds me of you!! nywayz good luck!! :)

Yve Renee said...

Hi Melanie! I'm so happy I came by your blog today. It's funny how we writers always think we are "unique" in our insecurities, however we SO AREN'T as you're post just explained...I too want to be different and put so much pressure on myself that I end up not writing at all.

Let me share with you a quote I found in a writer's manual I read recently, Erica Jong, a world-renowned writer, “Write for yourself, above all, and the world will come to you because it needs your truth in exact proportion to how many whiskey and cigarette ads there are. The more “worldly” the world, the more it needs the solitary artist for its own spiritual health. Believe in yourself. You are the soul-and the conscience-of the world, even if the world doesn’t yet know it.”

And then another quote that says "Just Write!!!"

Good luck. Oh and if you want to network or trade encouraging emails (I'm also working on a non-existent novel, [insert self-deprecating laughter]), you can reach me at YveRenee@yverenee.com

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Just a dreamer said...

I definitely think that you should continue writing!! I ran into your blog today and I couldn't stop reading. I'm new to blogging and I said that I wasn't going to get wrapped up in reading anyone else's but I couldn't help it. I loved yours! :)

http://tulipsandcake.blogspot.com said...

Please do not stop blogging. You are so funny. As for being published, it will happen...don't give up. I love reading people's blogs, and just ran into yours. You may not have a publish book, but at least you have fans.

Mike said...

Your blog has been recommended to us as a interviewee's favorite blog!

We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for Blog
Interviewer. We'd
like to give you the opportunity to
give us some insight on the "person behind the blog."

It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
be submitted online here Submit your
interview
.

Best regards,

Mike Thomas

Hope said...

I think you are a brilliant writer. I am a writer myself so I really enjoyed this post. thank you

Atlantean said...

I agree with all these people. Lol. I have been writing for about fifteen years...not quite sure how long but it's been awhile. I have seventeen completed novels and none are published because-big shocker-its actually a little tricky getting published. And you ARE still a writer. Keep writing. The Yve chick hit the nail on the head.