Throwback Thursday: My First Kiss

My first kiss happened my freshmen year of high school. For some reason I thought I was oldest person ever to not be kissed. Never mind that I was probably all of 14 or 15 at the time. I needed to be kissed and NOW. I started my high school year determined to be kissed, whatever it took.

My first kiss wasn't a DJ Tanner moment where I waited for the right guy and the right timing. I can't even remember how I met the guy we kissed. I just know he qualified for the job by having long hair (in the day of hair metal bands, this was all it took) and lips. Really, that's all I was looking for.

I remember his name, but seeing that we are in the digital age, I won't say it here. I do have one picture of us together in school. In it, I have a really bad perm and crazy eyes. He's wearing a jean jacket and a dopey expression. I believe we are holding a stuffed animal of some sort. I don't know why.

The kiss happened on the bleachers of my high school. I do remember that. I'm assuming it happened during lunch since we had open lunch at the time. 

I have to admit that I didn't like him that much. But I didn't not like him. I was just curious about what it was like to be kissed and he served that purpose. My best friend at the time tried to show me how to kiss (no, this isn't that kind of story...we didn't practice with each other), by having me kiss my arm.

It's not the same. And my arm still hasn't forgiven me for the violation of our trust.

When the kiss did happen, there wasn't fireworks or music. There wasn't even a cheesy 80's ballad in the background. It was weird. There was a lot of tongue. I didn't really feel anything, but self conscious. 

My real first kiss with someone I actually loved came later. In the meantime though, I had been kissed and had started my high school career the way I wanted. I got the worse grades of my life my freshmen year, but I had experience kissing, so what did that matter? I was a mature woman-child who didn't need no stinkin' education! 

I broke up with him a couple weeks later and never looked back. But he will always be a footnote in the story of my life. I think that's pretty cool. He probably wouldn't. And neither does my arm...

A Year Ago Today.

It's been a year since I was laid off. A year that was like a roller coaster, with many highs and lows. Some loops. A few moments when I wanted to puke. The whole package.

I had two short-term jobs that each had their own pro's and con's. I miss them both, but I kind of knew they weren't "the one." I'm still grateful though. They helped get me back into the game and stopped me from growing cob webs.

I still miss my old work family so much, even though I still see a lot of them. It's hard to believe we won't all be together again. There's a part of me that still feels this is a nightmare I'll eventually wake up from. But now that it's been a year, I think it's sinking in now.

I'm waiting to hear about the job I interviewed with the other day. I both look forward to and dread starting a new job. Beginnings are always difficult, but worth it to get to the good stuff. Kind of like a burrito. You need to chew through the tortilla to get to the meaty goodness in the middle. Man, I'm hungry now. Where was I? Oh yes. New jobs. I look forward to finding a new work family, although it will be hard to find one as good as the one I had (have).

I just felt like this anniversary needed to be acknowledged in some way. It's been a year and I'm survived. I've gained a bit of weight, lost a little confidence and had some dark moments. Like when our Blazer got rear-ended by a dump truck with my husband in it. I was working at home and had to jump into my car and race down the road to make sure he was ok. He was, but the truck was a wreck. The dump truck's insurance is paying for it and it got towed away today, but it was sad because my husband had just put a lot work and money into it and it should've lasted longer.

But there were good moments too. I got to spend a lot of time with my son and help him gain some independence. He has his license and now has a van to drive. I also got to spend time with my friend Katie and her kids and now her daughter is almost 1! I was there the day after she was born. Moments like that wouldn't happen if I was working.

Like I said, there were good and bad moments from this year. It was a cruel winter and I didn't think I would get through it, but I did. I even picked cross-stitching back up, a hobby I have missed doing. It helps relax me when everything is overwhelming. I just have to say that watching Friends and cross-stitching is a cure for anything!

I have high hopes for the next couple months. As long as I just keep swimming, I'll do all right. And stop by Chipotle, because I really need a burrito now...

I just want to make sure I thank all the family and friends here and on Facebook and who live with me for all the support I've received. I would never have done it without you. You know who you are!

Thank you.

It's Time.

I just noticed that Blogger has a way for you see all your draft blog posts. This is good because there have been many times when I've started writing and just stopped because it wasn't coming out the way I wanted it to. And then I just never posted it.

But then there were times I kept them as drafts on purpose. One day right after my father passed away, I wrote out what happened that day and then saved it as draft so that I wouldn't forget it. I've always known it was there, but it was kind of buried among all the other posts. I never could get to it easily. But I found it today. I also found the posts regarding one of the last conversations I had with my father.

None of them are easy to read. In fact, I just skimmed the post about "that day" because it was going to make me cry. It's way too traumatic to publish...ever.

The anniversary is coming up soon. Four years. Four. It's hard to believe it's been that long. The fact that he isn't here to watch his only grandson graduate high school breaks my heart. Man, he would be proud.

He would also be proud I quit smoking. One time someone asked him how he would feel if I smoked and he said he would be fine as long as I eventually quit. I guess he meant before I got too old to quit or something like that. But it just shows you how awesome he was. He supported me no matter what I did.

He would also be proud that I figured out a way to get on Ebay and buy myself a cheap laptop. He loved Ebay. The last time I looked, his profile and feedback is still there. All those hard to find Weebles he used to get me. The Scotty dogs and old toys he'd find for my mom. All of that was still there. But I haven't looked in awhile.

He would also find me inexpensive computers. Usually from auctions at his work. My first book was written on an old desk top with the Windows nobody used. Windows Me I think. I wrote it all on the Wordpad since I didn't even have Microsoft Office. But it worked! Later on, he bought me a laptop that was a little more advanced. But now I have to find my own way. I'm getting there...

I'm ready to look forward now and not backwards. That's why I'm going to start working on my writing again. I go back and forth between wanting to do another romance or a memoir. Maybe I'll do both!

So many milestones this year. I'm hoping by this time next year, I'll have something written up and ready to submit! I can do it! I know I can! Ok, now I just sound crazy. But if I can quit smoking and lose 35 lbs within a year, I can write a book. Maybe this weird, magical and powerful person that has taken over my body will help with that too!

I just know that life is too short and it's time to just be getting to it... I need to be more than a crazy cat lady! A crazy cat lady who happens to be a writer. That sounds much better...

Melanie Anderson
CCLW
Crazy Cat Lady Writer

Until next time...

Things that make you grrr....

As I go through this thing called life, I've noticed that, although I'm a pretty laid back person, there are things that will anger me for no real reason whatsoever. There's no rational reason for it. It just is. So I wrote them up in a list.

Things that anger me for no rational reason:

1. Those family stickers on people's cars. You know what I mean. The mom, the dad, the kids... The other day, I shit you not, I saw a turtle and a fish on someone's car. Yes, even the fish rate a sticker now. Whenever one of those people cut in front of me or even gently change lanes in front of me, I just want to step on the gas and rear end them. Why? No reason. Cute things apparently annoy me.

2. BMW's and their drivers. Since I live and work in the DC metropolitan area, there are a lot of people with more money with me. A lot more money. A LOT. I'm fine with this. They "usually" work hard for it and deserve it. (I'm thinking of some government workers and politicians when I say "usually"). But as soon as I see a BMW, I get angry. And I see a lot of them. On the way to work this morning, I was thinking of this list and looked around and saw two of them right at that moment. They just seem like such pretentious show-off cars. At least with a Mercedes or a Lexus, you give the appearance of class. You are refined without being flashy. BMW is just like, "Hey, here is my money in YOUR face!"

There's this BMW at my work, that I swear to God, looks just like a penis. It has an elongated front end. It's like the definition of phallic. It just screams, "If you had money, you could drive in a giant penis too! Here's my penis car IN YOUR FACE!"

3. Justin Moore's song, "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away." Only country music fans will know what I'm talking about. And I'm pretty sure one of my friends ranted about this on Facebook as well, but this song makes me so angry. The song itself is pretty. It's the lyrics that are the problem. The premise of the song is that if heaven wasn't so far away, he would:

"I'd pack up the kids and go for the day. Introduce them to their grandpaw."

He goes on mentioning all the other assorted relatives and people he has lost that he would visit in heaven. But I think what bothers me if that you can't do that. It's pointless to think about it. Those who have lost someone close to them know that this is just dangerous thinking. You have to move on. If there's a heaven or not (everyone has their opinion), we won't know until it's our time.

Every time that song comes on and I feel myself singing along, I get angry all over again. Who is this guy to stir up these emotions?

4. Speaking of emotions. Another thing that angers me is when a song purposely manipulates me into crying. Has anyone heard the song, "I'll Walk." OMG. Talk about freaking annoying. Here is the song in a nutshell.

A couple go to their prom.
On the way home they get into a fight.
She demands he lets her out of the car so she can walk. "I'll walk." She says.
He agrees, although it's night out, and for some odd reason she's wearing a black dress to prom. I guess that's what chicks do nowadays. I don't know.
She then gets hit by a truck. Or is it a car? Does it matter? Maybe it was a train.
She can't walk.
He drives to the hospital guilt-laden, as he should be. Why would you let a teenage girl walk alone at night?!? Hello???
But of course she's a martyr and is like, "It's ok. I'll walk."
WTF?
I guess he sticks around for awhile (out of guilt) and finally he asks to marry her (out of guilt).
She's at the wedding in her wheelchair and she's like, "I'll walk." And stands up. It's a miracle!!
I HATE THIS SONG.

If you don't believe me, listen to it:



It's awful. If you write a song that touches me enough to cry, it's wonderful. It's cathartic. But if I know you are writing a song just to get me to cry, I get pissed.

Christmas Shoes anyone?

I guess that's all for today. That's probably more than enough. Until next time... I'll walk to my penis car with the stickers on it and crank up some tunes... Maybe I'll visit my Grandpaw. WTF?

The List

Do you remember the episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel agreed to the list of celebrities they could sleep with if they met them in person? Then Ross laminated his list? lol That was an awesome episode. Well, the other day I got to thinking about who would be on my list if me and my husband agreed to one. Which I'm sure he would. If I asked him. Which I probably won't.

Anyway, I also wondered if I would even be able to narrow it down. I tend to be like a teenager who crushes on every celebrity she sees. Will I ever grow out of that? Do I even want to? But I am going to try to narrow it down. See how it works out.

1. Patrick Dempsey. Of course. McDreamy had to be first on my list. Do I even need to provide an explanation? That poor man would never had a chance. (Let's ignore the fact that if I ever did meet him in person, I would probably not say a word and hide until I stopped hyperventilating).

2. Jimmy Fallon. He's my sweetheart. He's funny and he has a cute smile. Not to mention, we were born the same year, which gives us a special connection. Like a stalker/stalkee connection.

3. Jimmie Johnson. Nascar stars count as celebrities right? I can't believe he moved down to third on this list. For so long he was number one! And that makes two Jimmy's on my list. I guess I just like a good Jimmy. Heh.

4. David Boreanaz. I love David and I love him as Booth. He plays a great guy who I was would love to hang out with, but, despite all that, I still think of him as Angel first. The vampire with a soul. Who gets a little nooky and turns bad. I loved him bad. He was hot bad.

Hmm... What? Where am I?

5. Chef Gordon Ramsay. There's a lot of passion there and I'm thinking it's not just for food. Shut it down, indeed!

6. Noah Wyle. He's relatively new in my life since Falling Skies started (he was a bit overshadowed by George Clooney in his ER days), but oh so hot with that beard and mustache. Thank God the aliens came down and took all their razors. That is what happened, right? I'm still having a hard time keeping up.

7. Garth Brooks. He's getting up there now, but still hot. And like Chef Ramsay, there's a lot of passion there. Plus, apparently he likes blondes. I think I have a chance! Watch out, Trisha!

8. Justin Timberlake. He's a younger man, but you know, I think I could handle it. Him, on the other hand...He'd probably have to run. I'm a special kind of awesome.

9. John Krasinki. I still have my "I love Jim" shirt. 'Nuff said! Of course I liked him better in the beginning of The Office with his floppy hair, but he's still cute! There are very few men I'll wear on my chest.

10. Brad Pitt. Yes, he was a jerk to Jennifer Anniston. Yes, he would have to get all kinds of shots and a chemical bath before I'd sleep with him since he's been with Angelina Jolie (who slept with Billy Bob Thornton! Eww!). But oh man, all I have to do is watch Legends of the Falls and I'm his again. He will be on my list forever!

That's my list for now. I do have some other people I could add. There's the Damon/Affleck duo. Yes, both. Oh and Ryan Reynolds is an up-and-comer on my list. Heh. Up and comer. Did you see his naked backside in that movie with Sandra Bullock? Hmm...

Can I have 10 more? Or would that just be greedy? Oh well...

Huh?

My son has joined a Christian death metal band, which he loves! On the way home from work yesterday, I picked him up from his band members house and he was chattering away. But lately there has been kind of a disconnect between us so our conversations usually end with me going, "Huh?" More so than usual. Here are some examples.

Him: "I have the best girl-scream out of all of them."

Me: "Girl scream? Isn't that bad?"

Him: "No, that's good. You want that."

Me: "Oh... Huh?"

Yeah. Girl screaming is good in a death metal band. That and growling, I guess.

Him: "I want Toms (the shoe) for my birthday!"

Me: "Ok. Send me a link."

Him: "I want them white. But I'm not going to wear them all the time. I'll wear them to school of course. To show them off. But I will have to walk to the bus stop with no shoes and then put a towel down. I will then step in the shoes on the towel so they don't ever get dirty."

Me: "Wow. Huh?"

Seriously. Whenever I'd buy those cheap $5 white shoes, I hated having them be pure stark white. I would walk around until I got a good dingy look going.

Him: "Me and the band walked to the gas station today, but we didn't have enough money for all of us to get a drink. This man offered me money to get a drink."

Me: "Yikes. That's creepy."

Him: "No, he was just being nice. The only nice person left in this world."

Me: "Umm... Sure. Huh?"

He is just from a totally different planet now. He had his grandmother get him a pool so he could start tanning. He wants just skinny jeans and shoes for his birthday. He wants a skate board. What's that about?

Ahh... Teenagers. They make you go, huh?

Every Breast You Take....

One day I was reading an article on Women's Health's website and I went ahead and "liked" them so that I could get Facebook updates on all their articles. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I really want to be healthy.

I soon realized my mistake. They like to update their page once a minute. And every day it's some new exercise or diet. I actually printed out one of their workouts and tried it. I think I lost consciousness for a moment. When I came to, I read the next line that said, "Do this 10 more times." Not. That only lasted one night.

A lot of the articles are common sense. But sometimes they'll just post odd things that make you go, WTF? Like today. Their Facebook post said:

Tell us why you love your breasts! Post a picture of yourself on our Facebook wall along with a caption about why you love your breasts, and you might appear on WomensHealthMag.com!

Err... Post a picture of my breasts? Or just why I love them? How many reasons are there? WTF? Isn't that a bit personal? If it was to support breast cancer awareness or something, I'd be all for it, but I think it's just for the heck of it. If that wasn't bad enough, I started reading some of the posts:

I love my breast because they are what make me unique. They set me apart from most women my size because as I become healthier and fit , they suit my body. Breast large or small look excellent when fitness is a part or your daily routine.

I'm confused. Is that one breast or two? And nice plug for exercise! Kissing up is the way to go.

I love my breast because they are a free accessory that goes with every outfit!

Why is everyone using the word breast like it's plural? We are born with more than one! Well, I was. Wasn't everyone? OMG. It is just me?

Another time their posted started out with:

Totally in the mood for a nice, cool iced coffee!

Mmm... Yes! Yes, I am! Then you read the rest

Here are the ones we'll be avoiding...

Thanks for ruining it!!! WTF?

Another post:

Morning sex: love it or hate it?

Really? You think I'm going to answer this on your Facebook status? Who in their right mind would do that? Oh, wait, there were 178 comments. My bad.

Hey, I'm all for women sharing their concerns and having open discussions, but on Facebook? Really? It just seems...odd. But maybe that's me. I'm pretty open for the most part, but there's always a line I think we shouldn't cross. And that line is our iced coffees. I mean, seriously, why are you warning me about them? Can't one thing be sacred?

Maybe I should hide them and be healthy on my own! But then I miss posts like these:

I ♥ mine! They say 'hello' before I do, make me stand a little taller, remind me when 'aunt flo' is coming to town, and are FABULOUS for starting conversations!!

Amen.

Dear McDreamy...

It was getting late and I didn't think I'd have anything to blog about, but then I was watching Grey's Anatomy and thinking about how much I loved McDreamy when it hit me. The reason I don't have him is because he doesn't know how great I am! So if I write it out here, in public, he'll see it and then he'll have to find me! So here goes...

Dear Patrick Dempsey,

I am your biggest fan, but I think we should be more. I would like to show you why you need me and don't even know it yet. Please read this with an open mind.

I have a lot of land where you can race your cars. Well, technically, it's my mom's land. But I'm sure she wouldn't mind! I can be your pit crew. Crawl under your engine....check your dipstick. Wait, where was I?

I have a cute little puppy named Scooter. Sure he might chew on your stuff. A few of the hundred dollar bills I know you just pass out like candy, but still. He's a good dog! Just don't leave your shoes anywhere... But I'm sure you can buy another pair when you're taking me shopping for the diamonds I deserve.

I have a cat! Or two. I'm not really sure. They keep hanging out at my house. But a cat is always good, right? I swear I'm not a crazy cat lady! Just crazy...er...

I really like your hair.

I can help you with your fake brain surgery's. You could even use my brain if you'd like! I'm not using it for anything!

I would give my firstborn son. Ok, so he's 16. And a little obsessed with his hair. Hey, see, it's almost like he's your son already!

My husband is really good with cars. I'm sure he wouldn't mind working on yours while we're making out! Oh yeah, he'd have no problem there!

I'm blonde. All men loves blondes! We also have more fun! Sometimes we just do stupid things like lose our keys. Or write notes to celebrities who could care less about us.

I have a really good imagination! We can make up all kinds of stuff to do. Some involving cake. Mmm...McDreamy cake.

Where was I? Oh yes, McDreamy. See, I have a lot to offer to a man like you. I'm sure you'll agree after you read this blog.

I'm waiting for you Patrick! I'll even cook for you! Well, I will pick something up for you. Do you like McDonalds Value Menu? I hear the McRibb sandwich is back.

Love always,
Melly

A Trip to a Scary Place

Since I couldn't think of a really good list for today, I decided to just do some free association. I'm going to empty my brain (more so than it already is) and just list random thoughts that go through my head. Ready? Yeah, it's scary, I know...

1. What should I type?

2. Why are my coworkers talking when I'm trying to write my list?

3. It's sad that my Grey's Anatomy calendar still has Izzy on it. I don't even miss her that much. Well, I miss old Grey's, but I don't miss her exactly.

4. Why am I so tired? I had so much caffeine today.

5. I really want a cookie.

6. Yikes, my brain really is blank.

7. Sleepy.

8. I wish people would stop asking me if I had an interview just because I'm wearing a suit today. Do I usually dress in rags?

9. Ooo, I think there's a new Glee on tonight!

10. I want to go home.

That was exciting, wasn't it? Now you know what my brain is like. Be afraid...be very afraid.

Under the Influence

I have come to the realization that I can't read reviews. Whether it be of a book or a movie or a television show. I have always respected a critical review of the above mentioned subjects. Back in the day, I used to read any book that got a good review of Amazon, without realizing that a lot of the reviews were done by friends or family or fans of that author and ended up with crap.

That's when I found the review sites that would tell it like it is. I ended up finding a lot of good books that way. Plus, I got the chance to read a lot of bad reviews that made me laugh. Heck, even I snark on some of the Harlequin Presents books.

But then it all backfired on me. I'd go on Television without Pity to read a recap of a favorite show and find them tearing apart a scene that I really liked and it started clouding my judgment. Suddenly, I was looking at the show through someone else's eyes.

Then I'd start getting defensive. Defending why I liked it to myself and forgetting one important fact. These are all people's opinions. One person's opinion. Not mine.

The logical answer here is for me to just stop going to these sites. I should just form my own opinion, which makes sense, but I enjoy these sites. Like I mentioned above, I've found some good books from them. I don't want to go back to reading fangirl reviews on Amazon. And TWoP is funny when it's not making fun of a character or scene I liked.

Is there a middle ground? Maybe I should stop reading negative reviews. Or stop reading recaps of shows I like. Or just stop being wishy-washy. I like what I like. If I like Finn on Glee despite the fact a lot of people think he's a crap singer, I should just stand by that. If I like Meredith on Grey's despite the fact a lot of people think she's whiny, I should stick by that.

And maybe stay away from the internet and television for awhile and get a life. That might be a good idea too...

Bringing Melly Back

It's time for me to get serious about blogging again. After my hiatus of about two years give or take, it's time for Melly's Spot to get rolling again.

Here is the new schedule I'm proposing. I might tweak it a bit.

Monday: Scooter's Corner. Because everyone loves a puppy!
Tuesday: Lists. This is where I will make a list of something--anything. Like how many ways this blog could end up sucking.
Wednesday: Interviews. Yes, I'm bringing them back! But first I need someone to interview! Of course if you know me, I can pretty much interview anyone or anything. I might end up interviewing my stapler.
Thursday: Melly's Thoughts. This is where I ramble about some nonsense.
Friday: Yeah, I don't have anything for Friday yet... I'm thinking of something Facebook related. Random status or something. We'll see...

If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! Of course this all hinges on whether I have internet at home, etc.

Please let me know if there's anyone out there who wants me to interview them! You don't have to be a writer, but you would have to give me some clues about who you are and what you like to do or I will just be guessing...

Edited to add: If you're interested in an interview, please email me at: melly48@gmail.com. Please be sure to include Interview somewhere in the subject line. Thanks!

A Confession

I will never be good in the kitchen. I just can't relax. If I cook something, I get obsessed with it. I just can't cook the food. I stalk it. I crank call it. I hide in the bushes with binoculars watching it. When I cook with oil, I'm so scared of a grease fire, I cook at the lowest temperature possible and it takes forever. I watch the pot, and yes, it really doesn't boil when you do that.

I follow recipes to the tee. I never improvise. I don't know what spice would be good with what. When I cut veggies, I have no finesse. I don't even know what part of the cabbage you're supposed to use. I couldn't even spell cabbage the first time I wrote that sentence.

I don't like to cook. The only things I enjoy making are eggs and dips--not together. Any kind of dip. Dips are good. Eggs--soft boiled, hard boiled-sunny side up, scrambled, fried, deviled. I am like Bubba with shrimp when it comes to eggs.

But that's it. That's all I like to make. It's all I enjoy. The dinners and all that... Blah. Sometimes I'm even disappointed when the roasts I make in the crock pot. And you don't do any work with that. Just throw it all in and let it cook all day.

I try though. I feel like they will take my woman badge away from me if I don't try. And I like to eat, so that's always an incentive to cook. Plus, if my husband cooks, he likes to grill, and that grill he has is a death trap. It always catches fire. And like the grease, I'm so paranoid of that. He just considers it a challenge. Like he's the Indiana Jones of cooking.

I don't want to stalk my food. I would just like to throw something on for dinner and have it come out tasting good. I get lucky sometimes...in the kitchen too. Meals will come out exactly like they should. It feels like I won some kind of battle. It doesn't make me satisfied. It makes me tired. All that stalking will do that to you.

Maybe I should take a tip from Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Relax. Just do it. But if my cooking is anything like their career, it will never happen.

In the meantime, would anyone like some spinach dip with a side of scrambled eggs?

I'm old and my son is dating.

My son is dating.

Yes, he's fifteen now. You would think I'd be be expecting this. But somehow I wasn't. I was prepared to deal with him getting his driver's license first and dating later. Then one day I went to pick him up at my mother-in-law's house and there were three girls outside with him.

So it began...

Luckily, he's sticking to only one now, but that almost worries me more. This isn't your typical I'm going out with so-and-so and then they break up the next day. I think this is your first love kind of thing. He's already been on two dates with her. Two. In one weekend! One was a Friday night roller skating date and the other was to a concert. It's scaring the crap out of me.

That's why I decided to come up with a list of helpful hints to help those mothers seeing their little boys date for the very first time. I hope it helps.

1. Denial. This will be your best friend. Couple it with alcohol and you'll forget you even have a son.

2. Do NOT think about what you were doing at his age. You'll lock him up for the rest of his life.

3. Do not buy him anymore expensive clothes unless you don't want to see them again. Especially jackets. Guy's love to give girls their jackets. It makes them seem strong. "I'm so manly I never get cold. Ever. -13 below? Ha! I can handle it. Yes, my skin was always blue. It's cool. Like Avatar."

4. Never track down the girlfriend's Facebook page. You'll read things that will scar you for life. You'll find yourself thinking, "Oh no you didn't say that about my BABY!" Just don't do it. Have you ever looked at your diary's from when you were a teenager? Yeah, it's like that. But shorter.

5. Hope that the girlfriend has an overprotective father. Those are the best. Then you don't have to do the worrying. They do it all for you. Just hope there's no reason for them to take out their shotgun.

6. Get a puppy. It takes care of that whole, "I'm not #1 in my little boy's life anymore." You'll always be #1 to a puppy. Unless of course they attach themselves to your husband. Try to avoid that. If the puppy looks a little too happy with your husband, take him away immediately.

7. Make sure you have an unlimited texting plan. I know it might seem expensive, but OMG, they text like we used to talk on the phone. And even if you think you can restrict it, you can't. Unlike us with the phone (under the covers, whispering), they could text all night long and you wouldn't know it. Just avoid the headache. No reason to live in a cardboard box just because your little boy had to say, "LOL" to his girlfriend five times, which cost you about $2 a piece.

8. Watch out for the Axe Cloud. I'm talking about the amount of body spray/and or/cologne teenage boys seem to think is necessary to smell good. They haven't learned that a little goes a long way. Just don't light a match. And be prepared to smell like a man at work that day.

9. Don't expect a whole lot of support from your husband. To them this is just the way things are. After all, they were all young studs themselves at one point. They might not say it, but inside they are thinking, "That's my boy!"

10. In addition to the cologne, there's a lot of primping that goes along with being a teenage love muffin. If your son has the shaggy hair like my son does then you know that's very high maintenance and involves flat irons and hours in the bathroom. Suddenly, that whole, "I'm so glad I didn't have a girl so I can have the bathroom to myself," is going to come back to bite you in the ass. You don't get the bathroom anymore. It's his. Move on.

Of course all of these tips mostly apply to me. You might have more than one son. You might even have a girl and a boy or just a girl or even more than that. This comes from my experiences with a boy.

Now I'm going to go back to my land of denial, where I don't have a son, and I'm married to Patrick Dempsey. He's decided we aren't going to have kids so he can focus on me. 24/7... Mmm...

Yes, I lied. Again.

I said I was going to start up my interviews and I really was. My intentions were good. I even talked to someone about doing an interview. But it never happened. I feel guilty for I love this blog. I had some good times on here.

I'm no longer a published author. That has dealt my self-esteem a hard blow. My last publisher was sold and the new publisher wasn't interested in my work. I know it's not my fault or their fault. It just wasn't meant to be. But it left me in a lurch. Am I still a writer if I'm not published?

Then I thought about closing this blog and shutting down my website. What was the point? But something always stopped me. Giving up this part of my life was something I couldn't-something I wouldn't do.

But I'm not writing. I'm not blogging. Ok, that's a lie. If you're my friend on Facebook, you'll see I'm started a new feature called "Melly's Saturday Night Story Snark," where I snark on books I find that are really bad. So I can never seem to give up my writing or give up on trying to make people laugh.

I'm in limbo-land and I'm not sure how to go forward. I start books that I never finish. I think I'm going to start interviewing on here and then I stop. I know it's my fault. I put too much pressure on myself. I have to do something different; something nobody has thought about before. Or that old self-esteem kicks me in the head, telling me, oh, that sucks. You can't write. Why did you ever think you could?

There are a lot of voices in my head. Not all of them friendly. Except Phil. He's cool.

Even now, I'm reading this back, thinking, "Oh God, you're not really going to post this long rambling blog are you?" And I think I will. It's time to move forward. It's time to be myself. "Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and, doggonit, people like me!"

I'm not going to make any promises this time. It still might be another year before I post. But I just had to post today when I got a comment on one of my blog posts that made me smile. People are still reading!

Oh and don't forget, you can always find me on Facebook. I'm Melanie Anderson. Just mention that Melanie sent you. I'll know which personality it is...

Another Random Post

Last night I had a dream that there were tornadoes on the way and they were about to hit my house. I ran and ran...and then woke up and realized The Weather Channel was on. *sigh*

I'm sorry I'm quiet. I'm still trying to shake this case of bad luck that just won't leave my back. I'm still sore from falling down the steps last week and Friday I locked my keys in my car and well... I just need some good juju! Where is Addison with her hot chocolate? Yes, I'm aware Grey's Anatomy is fiction, why do you ask?

In writing news... Linden Bay Romance is being bought by Samhain Publishing. I'm still digesting the news, but so far it all seems positive. I've read many of Samhain's ebooks and have always been impressed by the stories and the editing. Not to mention the covers... It's an exciting time and I just wish I had something new to offer. But I'm not going to push it. When it's time for me to write again, it's just time.

I just want to get through the holidays right now so I can get to 2009 and hopefully a better year. Even if I will be 35. Yikes. It has to get better, right?

Oh and one quick rec before I go. If you're looking for a really good country CD, check out Blake Shelton's Startin' Fires. You know how sometimes you buy a CD and you have to kind of let it grow on you before you start liking it? Well, this one was good from the first listen. I've always loved Blake anyway, but this is one of his best.

I miss the voices...

I woke up at 4:30 this morning. Not on purpose, mind you, but once I was up I didn't go back to sleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up in time to get my son up for school. So I sat here until 6 and then went upstairs to wake up my son. I got to watch Uncle Jesse on Full House. Whoo me!

As I sit here trying to force myself NOT to go on Facebook (my newest obsession), I think about how much writing I could do during this time if I was writing. Which I'm not. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm not writing because of everything that has happened to me or if it's because I'm just lazy or something. But then I think back to how I used to write all the time and I wish I could capture that feeling again. What made me write before?

Do I want to continue the book I already started or write something else? I've started two books, but neither one of them are holding my attention. I'm not sure where I wanted to go with them. They aren't "talking" to me.

I keep telling people the voices in my head are quiet and that is true. Usually when I'm in the middle of a book, the story is racing through my mind and I can hardly type fast enough to catch up with it. But now...I have nothing.

I tell myself to relax and not force it, but that's hard to do when writing is your passion, your dream... It's all I've ever wanted to do and it's just not working right now.

Maybe if I stop worrying I'll be able to hear the voices again. I hope so. I miss them. I miss writing. Even if it was crap, I was still telling a story.

But until then, I have my blog. I have Facebook. I have my friends. I have my family. (Those were in no particular order. I wasn't putting Facebook above my family. I swear!)

Maybe I just need to find a new kind of story...

Randomness

I was trying and trying to think about what to blog about and I was hitting a blank. This blogging thing ain't easy! So here are some random thoughts on this Friday morning...

1. Now that the price of gas has gone down, traffic has picked up, along with stupid accidents. Mind you, I'm not complaining! Not in the least! I enjoy paying less than fifty dollars to fill my Blazer. I'm just making an observation...

2. Five people and one bathroom isn't a good thing.

3. Waking up at six in the morning to get my son to school isn't a easy thing to do for someone who made their work hours 10-6. I did that for a reason! I'm just not a morning person.

4. I really wish I could sew.

5. Christmas is coming way too fast. The other day my iPod player picked up someone else's iPod (this happens once in awhile) and they were playing Christmas music. Suddenly I was hearing about someone's chestnuts roasting over an open fire. Make it stop!!

6. Thanksgiving isn't going to be the same without my dad cooking.

7. Facebook, or should I say, Pet Society is like crack. Stay away! (Unless you want to be my friend so I can get more money. Send me a request...).

8. My husband does a great job of cutting my hair and he's never taken lessons or anything! How come he's so good at everything?? And I'm the least coordinated person ever. Not fair!

9. Grey's Anatomy is really, really strange right now. This is the first season I can't figure out what the hell is going on.

10. I miss my DVR. That's all I have to say...

TGIF!!!

Remote Madness

What is it with men and the remote control? No, seriously, what is up with that? My husband holds onto the remote like it's the ring from Lord of the Rings. My Precious. If I can't find the remote in the morning, I look in the bed and it's usually there. Sometimes he has his arms wrapped around it like Radar with his Teddy Bear. Ok, that's a slight exaggeration. But not by much.

Now that we're temporarily living in one room at my MIL's house, we only have one television to watch. Usually I'm fine with that since I have my laptop and really that's all I need. And if I ask really nicely, he'll "allow" me to watch shows like Grey's Anatomy and Top Chef. But usually it's not worth the fight to ask for anything else. I think he pouted the entire time I watched the CMA's last week. If watching hot men is wrong, I don't want to be right!

So last night he fell asleep while watching the news. I knew he was asleep because he was snoring quite loudly. I tried falling asleep as well, but I can't sleep with the news on. It stresses me out. (Yes, we keep the television on at night...we just need noise). After trying to sleep for about ten minutes, I searched for the remote (next to him of course) and scrolled through the guide until I found Grey's Anatomy on Lifetime. It was the episode from last season with Seth Green. I rolled over and closed my eyes.

Suddenly, I realized I wasn't listening to McDreamy or McSteamy or any of my Mcfriends. I was listening to the news! WTF? I turned over and saw my husband holding the remote. I said, "What happened to Grey's Anatomy? Do you have a sensor that says, 'Melanie is trying to turn the channel...must wake up.'" He ignored me then LEFT THE ROOM.

Seriously! He didn't want to watch TV, he just didn't want me to watch something! Ok, I don't even think he was awake yet. I don't even think he was aware I was watching something. I just think that the first thing he thinks about is his precious.

I won't even talk about the hours and hours spent on The Weather Channel. Ask me the weather for any state in the US! I can tell you the forecast! Did you know it's snowing in Cleveland? It is!

I can't wait until our new place is ready so I can have my own remote again. Oh and my DVR. Because this really sucks. It's 34 degrees in Chicago, BTW.

Maybe one day I'll discuss when they lose the remote and suddenly YOU know where it is even though you're not allowed to touch it. No, I'll save that for another day...

For the Record

Talking to my friends about the 80's last night reminded me of a converstation I had with my son the other day. We were talking about records and how when I was a little girl (*sniff*), we would listen to 45's all the time. But not our own...oh no! We would listen to our parent's 45's. And that could be some strange music depending on your parent's taste.

I still remember my first 45. It was John (Cougar) Mellancamp's Jack and Diane. I loved that record soooo much. A little ditty...


Then I moved into full length albums. My favorite album was Duran Duran's Arena. Oh man... I got it for my birthday one year (not sure how old I was...my memory is spotty) and I still remember what it looked like. I remember the lyrics on the inside and how I used one of my Hello Kitty stamps to put my mark on it. I wore that record out!

Of course I got many other albums after that, but that one always sticks out in my mind. Then tapes came and replaced all the records and before you know it they were in the bargain aisles at all the record stores. (Anyone remember record stores? It's like iTunes, but you had to leave the house. ;)) But I still think back fondly on the pops and crackles the old record player made. And the sound of the needle scratching...

Sometimes it amazes me that I've been alive long enough to see all of this new technology coming alive-computers, cd's, cell phones...but sometimes I miss when everything was so simple. I guess every generation says that. I can't even imagine what new stuff they will come up with by the time my son is my age.

A hologram of the singers in your house?

BTW, tonight is the CMA's and the season premiere of Top Chef. What am I going to watch??? I'm still trying to decide. I can't miss Tom!! But then there are all the hunky country singers.... I miss my DVR...

Sunday Thoughts

I'm going to do something I haven't done in a very long time. I'm going to talk about racing. Really, Melly? Racing? That sport that you center your books around? That's what you're going to talk about? Yes, I am. Because despite the fact I can rarely watch an entire race anymore, I still pay attention to the big news and visit NASCAR.com frequently. Not daily like I used to...but a lot. There was a time I was on there every day and had a subscription to the weekly NASCAR Scene newspaper, which was then called the Winston Scene. Those were the days... Anyway, I digress.

I'm thrilled that it looks like Jimmie is *this* close to winning the championship for the third year in a row. I mean, seriously??? I admit that when I first became a fan it was mostly because he was hot in his fire suit while the racing came second, but I had no idea it would end up like this! I'm just so proud of my guy...even if he did marry someone who wasn't me...but it won't last. I know it. Anyday now! *fingers crossed*

BTW, did you know that Jimmie didn't even win Rookie of the Year? Nope, Ryan Newman did. How do I know? Because I'm awesome of course and know way too much about the man. Plus, that was the year I became a lifelong fan.

But that wasn't what I was going to talk about believe it or not. We all know Jimmie is awesome...that goes without saying. But if I had to pick the NASCAR driver I admire most in the world that would be Kyle Petty. He's just such a great man and does so much for the sport and the world. After his son Adam died racing in 2000, he didn't just quit while cursing the sport that took his son away from him. Instead he went back out and raced week after week using his son's number in tribute to him. He's not even that great of a racer...but just seeing him there week after week made my heart smile. Once in awhile I'd see him help out another driver even though he'd lose his position in the race (as bad or as good as that could be at the time). But he'd do whatever he could to help.

In fact, I modeled Jake from my books after him...not totally him, but just in the way his personality was much more important than his skills as a racer ever were.

Anyway, I wasn't sure what Kyle had been up to in the past few years until I saw an article about him today on NASCAR.com.

Basically it said he's been running a limited schedule while they test out different drivers and that he has a lot of things going on right now (including his awesome Victory Junction Camp he built in memory of his son) and that he wanted to race, but wasn't sure if he would. But what made me want to cry is this:

One minor issue is the use of the No. 45, which Petty began using as a tribute to Adam, who was killed at New Hampshire in 2000. If he remains at Petty Enterprises, the No. 45 would likely be used in only the races Petty drives.

But if he leaves for another team, the number won't go with him.

"The only thing I've asked is that if I'm not driving that number anymore, they put it on a shelf for a season and put some space between it before they use it again," Petty said.

Aww... It just brings tears to my eyes. I just can't imagine a world without Kyle Petty racing in it. The world needs more selfless men like him.

If you want to see what a great man* can do, check this out: Victory Junction Camp

(And his wife Pattie of course. I didn't forget her, I was just focusing on Kyle for the blog).