Another Random Post

Last night I had a dream that there were tornadoes on the way and they were about to hit my house. I ran and ran...and then woke up and realized The Weather Channel was on. *sigh*

I'm sorry I'm quiet. I'm still trying to shake this case of bad luck that just won't leave my back. I'm still sore from falling down the steps last week and Friday I locked my keys in my car and well... I just need some good juju! Where is Addison with her hot chocolate? Yes, I'm aware Grey's Anatomy is fiction, why do you ask?

In writing news... Linden Bay Romance is being bought by Samhain Publishing. I'm still digesting the news, but so far it all seems positive. I've read many of Samhain's ebooks and have always been impressed by the stories and the editing. Not to mention the covers... It's an exciting time and I just wish I had something new to offer. But I'm not going to push it. When it's time for me to write again, it's just time.

I just want to get through the holidays right now so I can get to 2009 and hopefully a better year. Even if I will be 35. Yikes. It has to get better, right?

Oh and one quick rec before I go. If you're looking for a really good country CD, check out Blake Shelton's Startin' Fires. You know how sometimes you buy a CD and you have to kind of let it grow on you before you start liking it? Well, this one was good from the first listen. I've always loved Blake anyway, but this is one of his best.

The iPod Experiment

About an hour before I left work yesterday, my coworker came up to me and asked if she could borrow my iPod. Her iPod had died and she was going on a bike ride with one of my other coworkers. I hesitated. As you know, I listen to mine in the car and that's a long ride home listening to nothing but the radio and God forbid, commercials! ACK!

She noticed my hesitation and suggested we swap them for the night. My car iPod player would charge hers while it played so it didn't matter that it was dead. I was intrigued. Different music? That would make the ride interesting.

After we agreed we both got a little apprehensive. We knew we had similar tastes. She listens to country, but not as much as I do. She listens to groups like Dave Matthews Band, who have never really done anything for me. But it wasn't like she listens to opera and I listen to rap. It couldn't be that much of a culture shock, could it?

We thought about it for a second and then immediately started warning and apologizing to each other about our music. I explained how I had a lot of Conway Twitty on mine and she mentioned Dave Matthews again.

As I was driving home it occurred to me how private an iPod could be. The iPod for the most part was designed to be listened to with headphones. Yes, there are devices you can buy that will play them out loud, but for the most part, people use them for things like working or exercising. That way none of your coworkers will ever know that you are listening to Barry Manilow and not someone cool like The Pussycat Dolls. (Are they really cool? I had to look at the Billboard website. Yes, I am a dork).

My point is that suddenly someone is looking into that private place you hardly show anyone. And that's why me and my coworker made a pact that we would never discuss what we learned from the iPods. And I'm still honoring that pact. Kind of.

I do have to say though that it was totally cool that she had The Beatles on her iPod too. She's almost ten years younger than I am and it amazes me how The Beatles will appeal to every generation. Even my son is a big fan of theirs now.

Oh God. I hope she didn't get any Neil Diamond! Why didn't I clear that off??? Dammit. OMG...

Air Supply.

Yes, we will never discuss the iPod. Maybe we should've sealed the pact with blood or something...

Rock Star!

My father loved to play the guitar. My best memories from childhood include him playing Beatle's songs for me and my friends when we'd all sing along. Somewhere there are some tape's of our sing-a-long's, but I have no idea where. My dad was the one person in this world who thought I was a good singer. He'd play Bob Dillon records at barbecues and have me sing for everyone. Yes, alcohol might've been consumed by the adults, but they still wanted to hear me! SUPER STAR!

When he was younger, my dad was in a band. I wish I could've seen that. I've seen pictures, but somehow it's not the same.

My brother also loves to play the guitar. I tried, but never had the patience for it. I learned to type instead, which seems to be the better choice for me. *grin*

Now my son has decided to learn the guitar. At first I was afraid it was like the time he wanted to play the violin (which lasted all of five seconds), but he seems to be serious this time. My mother paid for lessons for him and he's been to two so far. I recorded a clip of him tonight just to mark his progress.

It's grainy since I didn't have a lot of light and his playing is raw, but I do detect talent there. I'm soooo proud! I feel like I'm getting back a piece of my father through my son. He even has the long hair! ;)

If only I could get him to learn Twitty....

True Love

I am so enjoying my Conway Twitty box set. It's all I've listened to in the car since I got it. I'm serious. It's ALL I listen to.

But I do have to admit that I'm not always a fan of the Conway Twitty/Loretta Lynn duets. Yes, I know they won lots and lots of awards for them, but that doesn't mean some of them aren't....well, cheesy. I was driving home today and I heard the song It's True Love. In addition to being repetitive (something that drives me CRAZY), some of the lyrics just made me crack up. So....here we go.

I couldn't find a good lyric site for this, so I'm going to type them.

It's True Love, Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn

Conway: See that mountain over there? I'll move it for you.
Loretta: Ahh, I know you would.
Conway: You know I'd move it for you.

The first time I heard this song I was like, Awww...that's so sweet. He'd go to any lengths for her! *sigh* Love you, Conway!

Loretta: See the color of my hair? I'd change it for you.
Conway: Mmm... You'd do that for me?
Loretta: You know I'd change it for you.

Wait. He'd move mountains for her and all she's willing to do is dye her hair? A little Clairol is showing love???

Both: Baby, it's true love.
Loretta: And I've never had this feeling.
Both: It's true love.
Conway: And I can't believe it's real.

It's not. She just said she'd dye it for you.

Loretta: No more broken hearts for you.
Conway: Girl, I feel the same way too
Both: 'cause it's true love. Brand new love. With you.

Umm...exactly how many broken hearts has he had??? Maybe he should grab some protection for her as well.

*piano*

Conway: See that star up in the sky? I'll go get it for you.
Loretta: Aww honey, you don't have to do that.

Major eye rolling moment. She does know he can't really pull down a star for her, right?

Conway: You'd know I'll get it for you.
Loretta: See these tears in my eyes? You're making me cry.

Me too. But not in a good way.

Conway: Hey, did I do something wrong?
Loretta: 'cause I'm so happy inside.

*gag* Oh please. Where are my boots? I'd be more impressed if he'd say, "See that diamond in the display case over there? I'll get it for you." And yes, I write romance books. The point is...?

L&C: Baby, it's true love.
Loretta: It's a supernatural feeling.

Supernatural: of, pertaining to, or being above or beyond what is natural; unexplainable by natural law or phenomena; abnormal.

Ok...I'll go with that.

L&C: It's true love.
Conway: And this time I know it's real.
Loretta: No more broken hearts for you.
Conway: Girl I feel the same way too.

We get it. You're a male slut. Moving on...

Both: Because baby it's true love. And I've never had this feeling. It's true love. And I can't believe it's real.
Loretta: No more broken hearts for you.
Conway: Girl I feel the same way too.

Didn't we just say this???

Both: Because it's true love. It's a supernatural feeling. It's true love. And I can't believe it's real. It's true love. It's a supernatural feeling. It's true love. And I can't believe it's real..fade out.

By this point in the song I'm screaming (in my mind), "Shut up, Shut up, SHUT UP!"

Let's recap: He's moving mountains; she's going to the salon. He's stealing stars from the sky; she's crying. A little unbalanced relationship, eh?

And it's true love because they've never felt that way before. It's supernatural. Unexplainable. Abnormal. And he's apparently had his heart broken a lot. Or he's broken a lot of hearts. I'm not quite sure which.

Now I'm just picturing Loretta sitting on her mountain with blonde hair and a big ball of gas hovering right above her. Do I take things too literal? Hmm...maybe...

But in my world, true love takes Visa. (Songwriters, feel free to use that).

More Song Awards!

Best song to listen to when you're going through a bad time:

If You're Going Through Hell, Rodney Atkins.

There's no way you can feel sad after listening to that song. My favorite line is: "Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of Jim Beam and she lies to you..."

The Best "Why do I have this song on my iPod twice?" song:

All out of Love, Air Supply.

I guess I'm so out of love I need a double dose.

Best turn up the volume in traffic song:

Brooklyn, Buckcherry.

It's really fun to just scream "Brooklyn!" when you're passing a cop. (Please don't do that).

The song with the line you'll be saying for the rest of the day. I guarantee it.

Gimme Back My Bullets, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Seriously. I dare you to listen to this song and not go around randomly saying, "Gimme Back my Bullets." It's impossible.

You: "Gimme back my bullets."

Random coworker: "What?"

You: "What?"

RC: "You just said something."

You: "No, I didn't."

The song I will sing in karaoke one day. Guaranteed.

Better Be Good to Me, Tina Turner.

I practice this song all the time. Who knows...Maybe I'll even tease up my hair. I'll make sure I use my best Phoebe phlegm voice. More cowbell!!!

Best sing at the top of your lungs song:

After All the Good is Gone, Conway Twitty.

Oh man...don't be driving by me when I'm singing this one. "Today, I.....got a letter....

Best song to put in my blog just because it will drive Jeannie insane:

What I'd Say, Earl Thomas Conley.

Jeannie doesn't know what she's missing. That's what I would say.

Best first line of a country song ever:

Startin' With Me, Jake Owen.

"I had a one night stand with my best friend's baby sister." Priceless.

Best WTF does this song mean? song:

She's My Kind of Rain, Tim McGraw.

I went ahead and made up my own verse and dedicated it to my husband: He's my kind of rain, grouchy at times, like a sudden shower, leaving behind big puddles and mud everywhere. Worms coming out of the ground. Road spray in my face...He's my kind of rain.

The most snort worthy song title on my iPod:

Nutbush City Limits, Tina Turner.

Heh. She said nutbush.

Best "Seriously?" moment song:

Heart Attack, Olivia Newton John.

Seriously? That's the lyrics you're going with? Yes, this song is old as dirt, but I don't think that's a good thing to say to someone.

ONJ: "You're giving me a heart attack."

Random man: "WHAT? I'm calling 9-1-1"

ONJ: "You're the cutest thing I've ever seen." (Actual lyric).

RM *on cell phone*: "Yeah, she's speaking gibberish. Please hurry!"

Best "It's okay honey if you leave...I already got a piece of my own on the side," song.

There's A Honky Tonk Angel (Who'll Take Me Back In), Conway Twitty.

He basically tells the woman he's with that it's okay if she has someone else since there's this Honky Tonk Angel who'll take him back in. (Hence, the song title). What is a Honky Tonk Angel anyway? I guess every time a bango plays a honky tonk angel gets her wings. (Complete with matching boots).

Okay, that's quite enough for today. Until next time!

Going to the Country on a Jet with Crimson and Clover

My latest iTunes purchases:

Home, Blake Shelton
I love Blake and this song is really pretty. And hey, it's not about drinking! For a change. ;o)

Waitin' on a Woman, Brad Paisley
Jeannie had me watching the video for this the other day on YouTube (of course), and I just loved seeing Andy Griffith again. Plus, it's just a great song.

Look What You've Done, Jet
I heard this the other day on the radio and was determined to buy it. I'd heard it before but had no idea who sang it. So I had to remember the line, "Once you're a Jet, you're always a Jet." See! Who said I had a bad memory? Really, who was that?

Cold Hard Bitch, Jet
Once I found Jet, I realized I liked this song too. Sadly, this is not the only song with the word bitch in it on my iPod.

All I Want to Do, Sugarland
The first time I heard this song it annoyed the crap out of me. All the "Doooo...doooo"'s. But alas, I heard it one too many times and I was hooked. Now I proudly sing, "All I want doooooOOOOooooOOOO" all the way down the road.

She Never Cried in Front of Me, Toby Keith
This is a ballad that Toby Keith sings. And it's actually good! The first time I heard it, I didn't believe the DJ when he said it was Toby Keith. But it really is!

Do You Believe Me Now, Jimmy Wayne
I love Jimmy Wayne and was sad when he disappeared for awhile, so as soon as his song came out, I was so there!

We Weren't Crazy, Josh Gracin.
Again, I've loved Josh Gracin since his AI days, so I was happy to hear him on the radio again.

Crimson & Clover, Tommy James and the Shondells
Heh. Okay, a Swingtown influenced purchased. I admit it.

Okay, this post had to be quick since I'm running late this morning. Now all I have dooooooOOOOooooo is get ready for work.

Party Shuffle

I was playing with iTunes tonight and noticed a playlist feature called "Party Shuffle" and I had to check it out.

Here's my shuffle:

My Love, Justin Timberlake. Okay, so far so good. I can jam to that. Well, when I say jam, I mean doing the head bob made famous by Saturday Night Live and Night at the Roxbury. "What is love...baby don't hurt me...no more."

Don't Bring me Down, Electric Light Orchestra. Umm...okay. That's cool. Nice 80's flashback.

Everybody (Backstreet's Back), Backstreet Boys. Wait, who put that on my iTunes??? It couldn't have been me! Someone's hacked into my iTunes! Moving on...

Track 14. Wait, what? How can you know if it's a party tune when it has no title? Great shuffle there, iTunes!

Cleaning this Gun (Come on in Boy), Rodney Atkins. First of all, what's with that long ass title? And who exactly is partying to this song? Ahh...yes, party down to a father threatening his daughter's boyfriend with a gun. Whooo-hooo!

Brooklyn Roads, Neil Diamond. Oh yeah, the party's started now!!! When I think party, I think Neil Diamond!

My Humps, Black Eyed Peas. Okay, yes, that does work. I'm head bobbing again.

Comfort Me, Tim McGraw. Seriously? Good song, but there's not a lot of dancing going on here.

Getcha Some, Toby Keith. LOL Okay, this title just cracks me up. Welcome to my redneck party!

Need I Say More, George Strait. No, you don't, but I do see people leaving for the door right now. Come back! It has to get better!

You Ain't Much Fun, Toby Keith. Ain't much fun = Party. Yeah, I see it.

D'Yer, Mak'er, Led Zeppelin. Dude...pass the joi-uh, never mind. What kind of party is this again?

Take Me With U, Prince. Woo! Prince! Of course those people who were enjoying Toby are confused.

Lovely Rita, The Beatles. Hey, I have more beer! Please, stay!

Stay Gone, Jimmy Wayne. Shut up, Jimmy! I said I wanted them to STAY.

Feelin' The Same Way, Norah Jones. I love Norah, but I have this thing about keeping my guests awake.

Sam, Olivia Newton John. Okay, seriously, who hacked into my iTunes account???

Live for the Moment, Bad Company. Bang your head! Woot!

Typical Male, Tina Turner. From Bad Company to Tina Turner...quite a transition there.

Every Woman in the World, Air Supply. From the typical male to every woman in the world. What is this shuffle trying to tell me?

Six Foot Town, Big & Rich. What's that sound? Oh, that's all my guests leaving my party.

It Did, Brad Paisley - yeah, suddenly I'm very depressed. Sitting here alone, empty bottles, just me and Brad....

Track 08 - Oh c'mon!

Fire (Live)- Bruce Springsteen. Sorry, Bruce, I've let you down. It's not my fault. It's iTune's. They didn't give me a good party shuffle.

Gasoline Alley, Rod Stewart. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You're not even trying now!

Watermelon Crawl, Tracy Byrd, Doing the watermelon crawl down gasoline alley. Fun!

Morningside, Neil Diamond...Okay, obviously that's my cue that the party shuffle feature is NOT working. This song starts out like this:

Morningside
The old man died
And no one cried
They simply turned away
And when he died
He left a table made of nails and pride
And with his hands he carved these words inside
for my children

Oh yeah, party time!!! Whoo! The old man died and no one cried!!

I guess the party's over! I need to go carve a chair with my tears...

A Little Cocker

List time!!

The last ten songs I bought from iTunes for my iPod: (From latest to oldest)

1. With a Little Help from My Friends, Joe Cocker. Umm...yeah, after I saw the YouTube video, I just had to do it. I'm weak. Oh baby, hoggify!

2. You Are So Beautiful, Joe Cocker. Well, I'd already bought one Cocker song, so why not go for two Cocker's? Yes, I just like typing Cocker. "You are so beautiful to me. Can't you see? You're everything I hoped for. You're everything I need. You are so beautiful...to me." Is that in your head now?

3. Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart, Conway Twitty. Do I really need to explain this one? It's Twitty! Did I mention he was my friend on Myspace? And don't let Suz tell you that Elvis is better than Twitty. My dead singer could kick her dead singer's butt!! Just watch out when he activates the PERM OF DEATH!!!

4. U Can't Touch This, MC Hammer. Yes, I said that out loud. What can I say? I needed a pick-me-up. And I miss parachute pants. "I told you, homeboy. You can't touch this!"

5. I Saw God Today, George Strait. Hey, it's George! 'Nuff said.

6. What I'd Say, Earl Thomas Conley. It's just a pretty country song. I think from the 90's? If you haven't heard any of his songs, you should listen. He's good.

7. I Loved Her First, Heartland. It's a father/daughter song. It makes me cry. Moving on...

8. I Still Miss You, Keith Anderson. I've always loved Keith Anderson, and this song is awesome! Go Keith!

9. You Can't Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones. My first Swingtown influenced purchase, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Plus, it's soooo true.

10. Fantastic Voyage, Lakeside. Yeah, this is my latest dance song. Even now while I'm typing this blog, I'm jamming. "Come along on our fantastic voyage..." Join me in the land of funk! You know you want to!

Well, that's it. That's my last 10 songs. Something for everyone! Including a little Cocker. (Yes, I had to type it one more time).

Better be good to Barney!

iDog is back! But he's insisting on a name.

iDog: No, I'm not.

I think I should name him Barney.

iDog: Do you really hate me that much?

When I was growing up we had a dog named Barney. I miss Barney.

Barney: Fabulous.

So, Barney, what are we listening to today?

Barney: I'm afraid to find out.

First song up: Abracadabra, Steve Miller Band

Barney: What exactly is this song about? A magician who molests people? "First I will pull this rabbit out of my hat! Then for my second trick, I'll grab your boob. Where are you going? Don't you want to touch my wand?"

I Honestly Love You, Olivia Newton-John.

Barney: I honestly hate my life.

When I Call Your Name, Vince Gill.

Barney: Please don't call my name. It's embarrassing. My owner has issues.

Cha Cha Slide, Mr. C

Barney: Don't dance. I'm serious. You're going to hurt something.

Take It Easy On Me, Little River Band.

Barney: Good advice. I wish you'd follow it.

What You Give, Tesla

Barney: Good song. Hey, what are you doing? Stop that! Stop swaying right now! You have no rhythm, do you? Okay, I'll wait. Can you turn me around first? I'm scared.

Don't Let It End, Styx.

Barney: Oh please, PLEASE let it end. Have we heard anything from this century?

She Knows When You're On, George Strait.

Barney: Don't I know it! And I keep trying to play dead, too.

American Honkey-Tonk Bar Association, Garth Brooks

Barney: You really are a redneck, aren't you?

Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen.

Barney: Wow, from Garth Brooks to Queen. That was a smooth transition.

Help Is On It's Way, Little River Band.

Barney: Don't tease me like that!

Better Be Good To Me, Tina Turner

Barney: Amen, sister!

Youth Gone Wild, Skid Row.

Barney: Are you head-banging? You really are a confused child. The 90's are gone. So is your Aqua Net. Get over it.

Lonesome Loser, Little River Band.

Barney: Have I heard about the Lonesome Loser?!? Hell, I'm looking at her!

Macho Man, The Village People.

Barney: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I'm dying. Call 911. Call The Little River Band!

Fake It, Seether.

Barney: By the way, you remember when I was moving my head like I enjoyed your music? I was faking it. I'm sorry.

Live Those Songs, Kenny Chesney

Barney: Are you serious? If I lived these songs, I'd be a perverted magician in a Indian suit crying because I'm such a lonesome loser.

Need I Say More, George Strait.

Barney: No, I really don't.

Okay, that's enough from Barney, my iPod dog. He seems a little grouchy tonight.

Barney: Bite me.

Until next time!

Arf! Arf!

(This was supposed to be a "real" picture of my iDog, but my camera is a piece of %*$#...)

Today my iDog will be blogging his opinions on a random selection of my songs in the order they are shuffled. Warning: I have no control over his language or comments. Opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the blog owner.

It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing, Shania Twain.

Seriously? I left Target for this? Do you have my receipt? I can't even breath, and this is hurting me.

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You, Michael Bolton

If I could, I'd rip my batteries out myself.

Patience, Guns & Roses

This is a good song, so of course you're going to skip it. Yep, there you go. Maybe you should take lessons from this song. The whistling part isn't that long.

I Can't Stop Loving You, Conway Twitty

I've been meaning to talk to you about all this Twitty. I'm supposed to be this trendy little gadget and you have me grooving to Conway Twitty. Not cool at all.

Free Bird, Lynyrd Skynyrd

14 minutes for a song? I'll just excuse myself now. Do you have a newspaper?

Waiting on the World to Change, John Mayer.

Wait...wasn't this song made this century? How did this get on your iPod? Oh, you downloaded it for someone else? Figures.

SexyBack, Justin Timberlake.

Yeah, baby! I'm bringing sexy back to iDogs!

Heartlight, Neil Diamond

You ruined it. And we had such a good thing going!

She Hates Me, Puddle of Mudd

I think this all the time.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper

Oh please! As if this even remotely implies to you. You're blogging with your iDog!

Umm... Okay, I think that's enough for today. iDog needs to go to sleep now. Nighty-Night.

And the winner is..

Best song to stop yourself from killing someone in traffic:

Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett.

Best nostalgic bang-your-head while an unmarked police car is next to you:

Youth Gone Wild, Skid Row.

Best song to tap your gas pedal to while moving at 10 mph:

Cherry Pie, Warrant.

Best why haven't I heard of this song before?:

Man on her Mind, Little River Band

Best accidental obscene hand gesture while driving song:

Stays in Mexico, Toby Keith.

(There's this part in the video where Toby makes the "raise the roof" motion with his hands. Well, I only had one hand available at the time, and my hand wasn't flat out, so it kind of looked like I was jerking...something.).

Best embarrass your son with song
My Humps, Black Eyed Peas

Best Talking guitar at the beginning of a song:

Yankee Rose, David Lee Roth.

Best song to always skip, wondering exactly why you have the song on your iPod:

Step by Step, New Kids on the Block

Best song to take you right back to your childhood and wishing you had that big hair again:

Kiss me Deadly, Lita Ford

Best song that you should, but never will, apologize for:

Making Love out of Nothing at all, Air Supply

Best song that makes you go, "oops, is my son in the car?":

Crazy Bitch, Buck Cherry

Congratulations to all the winners! You get to spend another God knows how many days driving to and from work with me. Enjoy it!

Touch your what???

Let me start off by saying, I love Conway Twitty. I love him as much as someone can love someone who has been dead for quite awhile. His voice is like velvet sex. Mmm... He’s my man. Bad perm and all. Who else would sing I’d Love to Lay You Down with her friend at Karoake night?

So right away you know it kills me to have to say anything bad about one of his songs. Don’t get me wrong. I still love this song. Really, Conway could sing me one of my boring email messages at work and I’d love it. You should hear me on the car on the way to work. If one of his songs comes on, oh, I’m so into it. It’s scary.

But the lyrics to this song... Oh my. Seriously. Granted, this song is really old, but still... It’s just wrong. In so many ways.

Of course you know I’m going to break it down for you.

Warning there are some "mature themes" in this post. LOL

Touch the Hand by Conway Twitty.

Today I heard my woman say something I never heard her say before
She just told me that she was going to leave me and that she didn’t love me anymore

Ouch. Harsh. Maybe because you described her "as your woman". Ya think?

But I know that the loving kindness and the understanding is still there somewhere

Isn’t that a man for you? Just won’t get a hint.

So I’m gonna get down on my knees and I’m gonna say to my baby

While you’re down there, why don’t you mop the floor or something?

Touch the hand of the man that made you a woman

Dude. Seriously? Your HAND did all that? Do you have a magic hand?

Then tell me you don’t love me anymore


Umm...k. I still don’t love you.

I was the first man to ever
Hold you in a special kind of way

Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that particular experience. Ouch!

And those unfamiliar feelings that caused you to tremble
I know you remember today

Seriously. Women don’t need a "hand" to tremble. Not yours anyway. You’re going to have to do better than that.

Before you decide that your gonna leave me
And do things you’ve never done before

What? Like get out of the kitchen for a change? Vote? WTF?

Touch the hand of the man that made you a woman
Then tell me you don’t love me anymore

Still not feeling it. You’re going to have to offer more than a handshake. Why don’t you try conversation???

The two lips that once held sweet surprises
Surprised me and said goodbye today

Sweet surprises? I think I know what that means, but I seriously hope I’m wrong.

And those two lovin’ arms that use to reach for me
Just reached out and pushed me away

Yeah, he’s still not getting the hint. I DON’T LOVE YOU.


I know you believe you don’t love me

Believe I don’t love you??? I think I know what I’m feeling, mother-fuc--
Before you walk out that door

*sigh*

Touch the hand of the man that made you a woman

Yeah, yeah, touch your hand whatever. I’ve heard of foot fetishes, but really this whole hand thing is creeping me out.

Then tell me you don’t love me anymore

Maybe the restraining order might tell you that instead, because dude, you’re just not getting it.


If your best argument to keep someone is reminding them of the way you popped their cherry? Something is definitely wrong with this relationship. There’s no promises to put the toilet seat down, or more date nights or cleaning the kitchen once in awhile. No, just a miracle hand that somehow made her a woman.

Man, that Conway. He’s the only one who can sing a song like that and still have me singing every word. I’m so easy. Because honestly? I probably would be touching his hand. And loving every moment of it.