Friday, January 3, 2014

I Saw the Sign...and it had Snaps.

I've never been good at saving things. The things I wished I'd saved from the 80's are gone, but then I did save random things from the 90's. Like People Magazine. I saved the magazine from the week Kurt Cobain died. As sad as that event was, I'm not sure why I saved it. Maybe so one day I could pass it down to my son? "Son, here is the day that grunge music died. Please pass it on to your children and your children's children... Spread the word, my son. Do not let the 90's pass in vain."

(How awesome is it that Wayne Newton getting married is in the corner? It's like, "Yes, it's tragic that Kurt Cobain died...but it's Wayne Newton! Must...tell...people...)

Ahh.... The 90's. Does anyone want a printer?

It's only $485!! The goofy guy in the awful shirt isn't included... I don't think. He is way too happy about his chart. "I did it! I printed on paper!"

Does anyone remember Hit or Miss?

I'm pretty sure this is a miss.

Smokes and a Walkman. What more do you need?

That's Kurt Cobain on the floor. And I thought our paparazzi now were intrusive! (That's my hand on the magazine. My picture taking skills not so good).

Does anyone remember the adult onesie? They had snaps and everything! What was that? Those snaps were in a woman's area that should not have metal snaps! The overalls on this model (Beverly Peele) just make it 90's-licious!

I loved this movie. Back when Brad Pitt was still cute and not a bit dirty from dumping Jennifer Anniston and hooking up with Angelina Jolie.

Body Shampoo... What all men who wear women's blouses use...

Does anyone want me to order your some CD's or cassettes from Columbia House? I loved that they would send you all those CD's and just trust you to pay them. Which I did, of course... Absolutely.

I can get you some Ace of Base. Or Shaquille O'Neal. Apparently he put out an album. I feel sorry for those who actually made real rap back then being in the same box.

Does anyone remember when Tim McGraw had a porn 'stach?

Sorry my flash blurred out the good stuff.

Speaking of the good stuff...

WTF? I really don't want to see this in my magazine. Keep your prostrate to yourself, sir!

Scrunchy socks!!

Jonathan Knight was thrown off his horse!! Wha?? First Kurt. Now this! How can we live in a world where New Kids on the Block members are just thrown around like that?? The 90's sure were a crazy time. What's next? The president getting a blowjob and then impeached? No way!

The best part is the picture next to the blurb:

It's so dramatic looking. It's like they took it after the event. I can just imagine what they are thinking...

Jonathan: "How could you throw me off like that? Don't I give you the best rubdowns? You messed up my bangs!"

Shakespeare the horse: "You deserved it. Your music sucks. I didn't see you hangin' tough then!"

Would anyone like to strap on their phone? What is this? Did anyone have these? I'm pretty sure this is before most cell phones, so I don't know... BUT I WILL!

Would anyone like to lease a LaBaron for $249 a month? It has power windows, AM/FM stereo cassette radio, even a power convertible top... All standard! The best part is that there's an asterisk by dual airbags and at the bottom it says:

"Driver and front passenger air bags. Always wear your seat belt."

Apparently in the 90's we just jumped in the car without seat belts and were like, "Whoo---hooo!!! No need for a seat belt! I got air-bags!!!" Sadly, that's probably not far from the truth. I didn't wear seatbelts on a regular basis until I started taking driving lessons at 16. I'd just slide around in the back of my parents station wagon. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Well, that's all for this trip to the 90's. But I have more magazines so we might visit again! Oh and if Columbia Music does still exist, the check is in the mail! Really.

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